Oh, the things that terrified me in my impressionable youth… such as these bastards, the YEP YEP aliens of Sesame Street. They were visitors from another world who had come to earth to sound out words like “tel-e-phone” and “com-pu-ter” as part of their plan to take over the world by SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF SMALL CHILDREN. I’m not sure why they scared me so much, but it probably has something to do with the fact that they always invaded showed up when nobody was home, coming through the window while mindlessly droning, “Yep! Yep!”. Thanks a lot for the nightmares, Jim Henson!

For more Sesame Street fun and TERROR on YouTube, check out this enormous list of links from foldedspace.org.

BILLY DRAGO. After I saw his weaselly, creepy portrayal of hitman Frank Nitti in The Untouchables, I was freaked out for days weeks months …well, forever, I guess. Even the unforgettable revenge scene where Costner’s Eliot Ness tosses Nitti off of the roof in a blurry, blue-screen effects shot (see also: Alan Rickman’s similar ending in Die Hard, and many other classic bluescreen badguy falls) couldn’t wipe the specter of that Connery-killing crazyman from my mind.

Drago proved he’s still got his terrifying chops in the recent remake of The Hills Have Eyes - although his appearance was brief, his needle-nosed, cavernous, hollow-cheeked, spooky mug is un-missable as the bearded hill person who loves both the taste of human flesh and sprinting after his victims while shrieking (in a trenchcoat, in the desert).

CALIBOS! This demonic (semi-fictional) sonovagoddess (Thetis, patron goddess of the sea, and mother of Achilles, to be precise) was played by Neil McCarthy, with more than a little Harryhausen stop-motion magic, in the 1981 film Clash of the Titans. I loved that movie the most, but Calibos’ twitching clay tail and sourpuss face scared the bejeezus out of me. Worse than Medusa’s stony visage, f’reals. More recently, he’s shown up in a few episodes of Wonder Showzen as Rad Mark, for no apparent reason. He will take your soul.

SHARKS. Even though I lived minutes away from the shores of Lake Huron, which is way more likely to contain toxic chemicals, human feces and Zebra mussels than any sort of man-eating black-eyed fish, every time I went in that water I felt like a goner. I don’t even remember watching Jaws, but I didn’t need to see it to know the truth: Sharks are just plain scary, man.

Michael Jackson’s THRILLER. My older sister was a huge MJ fan (she had the puffy stickers and everything), and she had a bunch of his albums. I can’t even remember if I had ever seen the video or not - and I’m not sure how I would have, in our cable-less house - but just listening to that damn song would send me hiding under the nearest bed. The worst is when my sister and our MJ-loving babysitter would torture me by playing it over and over… there was no escape from the sonorous tones of Vincent Price, the pulsating Quincy Jones beat (that beat could make the DEAD RISE), the howling wolf/shrieking wind sound effects - it was all much, much too much for young Sluggo.

Oh yeah, I did… 9mm all the way around, baby! I’m liking it so far - it does make me feel quite a bit more like Sluggo, which is always a good thing. My new haircut is great for many reasons:

1. It’s really bracing in the morning.
2. I’m saving a bunch of ca$h on shampoo and pomade.
3. It’s good to be ready for when they reinstate the draft - because nothing, but nothing, beats being prepared.
4. One word: AERODYNAMIC!

In Volvo news: the beast is back! New engine mounts, and it’s purring like a tiny swedish kitten. All that’s left on my list is changing the various & sundry fluids, and replacing some damn belts. Then, sit tight until spring… man, I need a damn garage.

It looks like I may get to have dinner with Jeffrey Brown, comic maker extraordinnaire, sometime in December.

We’re seeing Spoon this weekend at St. Andrews - should be a rollicking good time for certain. No halloween plans as of yet, mostly because we’re really lame. Now I have to go get me some beers, so PEACE OUT, my internets friends!1!!!!!

future mugshot for you haters

Wow, I think I totally found the perfect halloween costume for me. Let’s submerge our souls in the icy waters of Lake Minnetonka, baby!

In other news, I just finished the biggest goddamn project of my “professional” life, and hoo boy am I glad it’s pretty much finito… almost done… well, realistically, it’s never going to be done done, but it should probably start taking up a whole lot less of my valuable, valuable time. Hopefully.

Also, today I am on an all-out, balls-to-the-wall mission to EXTERMINATE the nasty, untraceable odor that has been permeating our apartment. For real, I bought a new mop and some MR. Clean and everything. Take that, foul smells! Mr. Clean will prevail!

Hey, everybody! It’s LINK ROUND-EM-UP time, pee-wee! WAHOOO!

Stephen Colbert geeks the fuck out on Viggo Mortensen

Who’d have guessed it? Colbert loves D&D!

Some ultra-cool highschool music teacher in Minnetoka or something got his percussion quintet to do an amazingly-right-on rendition of two DJ Shadow songs (Changeling and Building Steam with a Grain of Salt). The damn kids even do the chopped-up sample shit which is BLOWING MY MIND right now. FYI, the video he links to is BIG - 60-something MB big - but totally worth it.

Where DO I get all those wonderful ape images? Why, from the only Planet of the Apes resource you’ll ever need, natch.

This link shows the sheer genius of the guys who edit trailers: a trailer for The Shining… happy version?

And this one just cracks my shit right up. Do you have snakes that come in sometimes? Don’t stand for that shit.

song of the day: Wee Willie Oldham: I Gave You (from Superwolf)

SOOO… it’s Wednesday night, and I’m waiting eagerly for the new episode of ABC’s hit drama LOST. Does that make me a bad person, or just a boring one? Whatever, it’s gonna rule.
I haven’t updated in so long… I’ve been very distracted lately. Work has been fucking awful, and I’m both amazingly busy and spectacularly bored all day long. YEAH! Smautumn is doing well in skool - coding like a supernerd! I’m so proud. Somebody on TV was just talking about drinking tequilla and tonics (which sounds pretty fucking nasty) but I’ve really been craving a Moscow Mule lately, and I don’t know why. I think my Trader Joe’s beer and bourbon will treat me JUUST fine tonight.

I had what must have been the worst meal of my LIFE this week at motherfuckin’ SEVA. Seva is a vegetarian restaurant in Ann Arbor that’s always been really overpriced and served incredibly bland food - but I’m used to that. This time, I ordered some new specialty on the menu, corn crepes with goat cheese, chipotle sauce, and some wild rice fritter things. When it arrived? They apparently managed to turn a dish where each ingredient would have good, strong flavor into FUCKING MUSH! I don’t know how you can render a chipotle pepper tasteless, but if you need that done, they can help you. Ugh. Never going back, this time for reals. Fuckin’ hippies.

I’ve been working on the Volvo all the time, and I think I’m ever-so-slowly getting better at it. It’s actually a lot like troubleshooting computer problems - just with more grease. This weekend I’ll be changing drivebelts and replacing the bushings on my steering pump. Before winter, I need to replace all my fluids and check out some hot steering/suspension ACTION! If I keep doing okay with it, I’m definitely buying another ride next summer, either an old Valiant or a turbo volvo (maybe a stick, too). I guess I’ll have to sell the damn toyota one of these days, though.

And that’s Mi Vida Loca — CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

song of the day: Spoon: Everything Hits at Once (from Girls Can Tell)

Oooooh, allergies. At least, I think that that’s my problem. every time I go outside I feel like Clubber Lang just punched me in the chest, and maybe also boxed my ears. Ouch! Claritin, here I come.

In other unexciting news, work on the Volvo is going well - so far, I have done plugs, wires, distributor cap, rotor, air filter, and oxygen sensor - but it’s still doing the funky stalling. The kind folks at Brickboard have pointed toward several possibilities (Fuel Pressure Regulator? Thermostat? Knock Sensor?) so I’m a tear it up with the diagnosis this weekend, AND clean the everlovin’crap out of that filthy throttle body. My money’s on the FPR, but whooo knows.

I helped the lovely ChanChan get herself a wordpress blog setup yesterday… maybe I will link to her someday. Wow, the only thing more boring than this entry has got to be the super-tasty Corn Cam!